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Pssst... Hey wanna cyber?

Windscribe sent this email to their subscribers on November 28, 2022.

CYBER YIIIYg D E A L 58% Off 1 Year Plan 5545 $z P 120122

'Cyber' used to mean something completely different in the late 90’s. Cybering was an online conversation between a guy pretending to be a girl, and another guy pretending to be a girl, neither admitting that the other guy was pretending. This rigamarole would continue until someone reached completion. The 90s were a different time dude, it was the f&%*#ing Wild West back then. Nowadays, we attach the word 'cyber' to innocuous things like trucks and Monday’s. A dignified progression in the course of human evolution, we think.


[-+BaByCakeZ+-]: I'm 23/f/Canada, wuts yr a/s/l?

But this isn’t the 90’s, and Windscribe is not in the business of selling trucks - just software. So let’s talk Cyber Monday - the perfect day to hawk some juicy deals your way. You ready for this? Until Dec. 1, you can get 1 Year of Windscribe Pro for only $29! You can save $40! Do you know what people will do for $40 during a recession?! You can get someone to raise your children for that type of money! Not properly, mind you, but they’ll raise ‘em!

Windscribe Cyber Monday Extravaganza... of the century!

Windscribe Pro For $29/yr!

FREE-USER BONUS ROUND!

We also have a lil’ bonus deal for those of you who’ve spent all of their gas money on Black Friday deals like TV/deep fryer combination appliances, and freshly squeezed donkey juice. For the record: we have no idea what donkey juice is, or where one acquires it - we just know that no one would buy it unless it was deeeeply discounted. Just for the story, ya know? *Ahem* back to the Windscribe deal…


Juice me you coward!

If you are one of our free users, you can get triple the bandwidth for referring people! It used to be 1 gig per referral… but not anymore, buddy ol’ pal! Now it’s 3 gigs. Tripled it. Just like that!

How can Windscribe afford to give you such crazy deals? Simple, we stopped taking our psych meds! Medicine can’t fix what we have always been, plus now we can hear colours (not a typo - that's how we spell color in Canada). You win, we win, everyone wins. That’s the American way! Unless you aren’t a high ranking government official or a billionaire. But what do we know, we’re Canadian.

Well that was fun, let's cyber again sometime.

Team Windscribe


Random Fact

"Sherlock Holmes NEVER actually said, 'Elementary, my dear Watson.'"

Text-only version of this email

CYBER YIIIYg D E A L 58% Off 1 Year Plan 5545 $z P 120122 'Cyber' used to mean something completely different in the late 90’s. Cybering was an online conversation between a guy pretending to be a girl, and another guy pretending to be a girl, neither admitting that the other guy was pretending. This rigamarole would continue until someone reached completion. The 90s were a different time dude, it was the f&%*#ing Wild West back then. Nowadays, we attach the word 'cyber' to innocuous things like trucks and Monday’s. A dignified progression in the course of human evolution, we think. [-+BaByCakeZ+-]: I'm 23/f/Canada, wuts yr a/s/l? But this isn’t the 90’s, and Windscribe is not in the business of selling trucks - just software. So let’s talk Cyber Monday - the perfect day to hawk some juicy deals your way. You ready for this? Until Dec. 1, you can get 1 Year of Windscribe Pro for only $29! You can save $40! Do you know what people will do for $40 during a recession?! You can get someone to raise your children for that type of money! Not properly, mind you, but they’ll raise ‘em! Windscribe Cyber Monday Extravaganza... of the century! Windscribe Pro For $29/yr! FREE-USER BONUS ROUND! We also have a lil’ bonus deal for those of you who’ve spent all of their gas money on Black Friday deals like TV/deep fryer combination appliances, and freshly squeezed donkey juice. For the record: we have no idea what donkey juice is, or where one acquires it - we just know that no one would buy it unless it was deeeeply discounted. Just for the story, ya know? *Ahem* back to the Windscribe deal… Juice me you coward! If you are one of our free users, you can get triple the bandwidth for referring people! It used to be 1 gig per referral… but not anymore, buddy ol’ pal! Now it’s 3 gigs. Tripled it. Just like that! REFERRAL LINK How can Windscribe afford to give you such crazy deals? Simple, we stopped taking our psych meds! Medicine can’t fix what we have always been, plus now we can hear colours (not a typo - that's how we spell color in Canada). You win, we win, everyone wins. That’s the American way! Unless you aren’t a high ranking government official or a billionaire. But what do we know, we’re Canadian. Well that was fun, let's cyber again sometime. Team Windscribe ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Random Fact "Sherlock Holmes NEVER actually said, 'Elementary, my dear Watson.'" Home | Upgrade | Support | Privacy | |
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