Santa’s Reindeer Are Out Of Control
Shinesty sent this email to their subscribers on November 18, 2022.
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Text-only version of this email
Shinesty (Image: Blitzened underwear)
I am the pickle, teller of truths, oracle of the brine
[CTA: “Play Some Reindeer Games”]
(Image: Reindeer & sleigh flying through the air) (Design: some musical notes) You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen But do you recall… What they’d look like as alcohol [CTA: “Shop Xmas Undies Or Start
Singing”] G e You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen But do you recall... What
theyd look like as alcohol SHOP XMAS UNDIES OR START SINGING
(Image: Reindeer from the print scattered around the lyrics) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer And his buddies all are drunks Soon as
they’re done with Christmas They drink until they all blow chunks All of the other reindeer Chant his name, they love him lots
They always yell at Rudolph “Bro, you better buy us shots.” All of the other reindeer Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer And his
buddies all are drunks Soon as theyre done with Christmas They drink until they all blow chunks Chant his name, they love him lots
They always yell at Rudolph Bro, you better buy us shots.
Then when last call rolls around Rudolph makes his move "Vixen, you sure keep it tight Are you DTF tonight?" Then all the reindeer
black out And stumble home to sleep it off But Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer First pees in their water trough Merry Christmas,
kids! (Image: Blitzened underwear) [CTA: “Get Blitzened”] Then when last call rolls around Rudolph makes his move Vixen, you sure
keep it tight hJ Then all the reindeer black out And stumble home to sleep it off But Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer J? First pees
in their water trough M MERRY CHRISTMAS, Are you DTF tonight? GET BLITZENED
This weekes flasher deal, 30% off that 70s formalwear
STAY WEIRD & RING IN THE HOLIDAYS
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This extremely tasteful, hand crafted, organic, non-gmo, vegan, gluten free email was designed by Dain and written by Nate.
You’re old enough to know the truth: Reindeer aren’t real.
We hope you aren't down here to click this:
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