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Afternoon Bulldog: If Meek Mill Succeeds in Getting Lamar Jackson to the Patriots, it Will Unleash Football Armageddon

Barstool Sports sent this email to their subscribers on March 28, 2023.

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BARSTOOL SPORTS ****************** AFTERNOON BULLDOG “I'M LITERALLY ONE OF THE COOLEST, MOST HIP YOUNG INFLUENCERS IN THE GAME. HOW CAN I BE BAD FOR A BRAND???” ” --- TOMMY SMOKES Quick Headlines:  * If Meek Mill Succeeds in Getting Lamar Jackson to the Patriots, it Will Unleash Football Armageddon * I Still Can't Get Over These Videos Of Congressmen Grilling The CEO Of Tiktok Last Week And Having Absolutely Zero Clue How Anything Works Or What Anything Is; Including Wi-Fi. How Do These People Get Dressed In The Morning, Nevermind Run Our Country? * Why Your Favorite Baseball Team Can And Cannot Be a Contender This Year: 2023 American League Edition IF MEEK MILL SUCCEEDS IN GETTING LAMAR JACKSON TO THE PATRIOTS, IT WILL UNLEASH FOOTBALL ARMAGEDDON Sorry to be the guy who kills the party with facts, logic, and common sense. I just don't see it as even remotely likely. I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THESE VIDEOS OF CONGRESSMEN GRILLING THE CEO OF TIKTOK LAST WEEK AND HAVING ABSOLUTELY ZERO CLUE HOW ANYTHING WORKS OR WHAT ANYTHING IS; INCLUDING WI-FI. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING, NEVERMIND RUN OUR COUNTRY? The absolute clown show these TikTok hearings have been So we've got leaders in Washington tasked with protecting our best interests, public health, and market economy that aren't capable of asking if an app can use your daughter's iPhone as a trojan horse to in turn access all other devices on your home internet network (which is what I think Hudson's intern who typed up his brief wanted him to ask) because he has no clue how the internet and wifi actually works?) THE SALE CAN HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT NOW I don't want to get ahead of myself. But Schefter tweeting this is the biggest sign that the sale is almost, at long last, finally complete. It's been rumored for a while now that the Josh Harris group was the front runner, but then other names and other price tags kept popping up. Some Canadian fella took a tour of the facilities last week. But once Magic Johnson was brought onboard the Josh Harris bid, it seemed like a done deal. And now, it looks closer than ever. It's really crazy to think about. I've been ending blogs forever about how I think somehow, someway, Snyder will eventually sell. And how it would be the greatest day of my life. And now IT CAN HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT. It's crazy. Our long nightmare may be over. The sun will shine on Pride Rock once again. Scar is dead. Simba has returned. It's amazing, man. USMNT PLAYER SEBASTIAN LLETGET CLAIMS HE'S BEING EXTORTED FOR A '10-MINUTE LAPSE OF JUDGEMENT' AFTER BEING ACCUSED OF ALLEGEDLY CHEATING ON BECKY G 10 minute lapse of judgement! Guy, rule number 1 as learned on the Jersey Shore, deny, deny, deny. Don't you give specifics. You can't say it was 10 minutes. That's far too long to admit. Say it was a lapse in judgement. Say it was a moment of lapse of judgement. You don't need to say 10 minutes and make half of us look bad out here. WHY YOUR FAVORITE BASEBALL TEAM CAN AND CANNOT BE A CONTENDER THIS YEAR: 2023 AMERICAN LEAGUE EDITION It's that beautiful time of the year again. The birds are chirping, the sun doesn't go down at 4pm anymore, and it's time we to feel more alive. You know what that means? Big Cat dropped his NFL head coaches picture breakdown? While that is true, it's also time for baseball. No more arguing over whether the World Baseball Classic is either the best thing ever or handcrafted by the devil himself. No more watching meaningless Spring Training games just praying your favorite player doesn't trip on a blade of grass and break every bone in his body. Nope, it's time for the real thing. Come Thursday all of our teams we shed blood, sweat, and tears for each year start 0-0. A clean slate baby. With that comes hope. Some/most of it is misguided. Some warranted. Maybe it is in fact your team's year? Only one way to find out. Let's get ready for the marathon of a season with a conversation of what needs to happen for you team to contend or fail this year. There's typically three tiers of teams each year. True contenders, those which need a few things to break their way to make some noise, and the teams owned by billionaires who'd rather enter sailing competitions and spit on the commoners who dare stare at their penthouse apartments from the streets below than watch their teams win baseball games. Image of Positive Vibes Only Imperial Rope Hat Positive Vibes Only Imperial Rope Hat o N N . 7 N LTI S b R THEY'RE JUST KIDS Just Cover Crewneck Image of Just Cover Hoodie y THEY'RE JUST KIDS Just Cover Hoodie Image of Barstool Sports Printed Hoodie Barstool Sports Printed Hoodie Image of Barstool Chicago Printed Hoodie Barstool Chicago Printed Hoodie Image of Barstool Sports 3D Graphic Hoodie Barstool Sports 3D Graphic Hoodie
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